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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 3, 2013 11:00pm-11:31pm PDT

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anything around the house. >> you bitch. i love you. >> i love you too, babe. -- >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight the lovely and talented kerry washington, the show from scandal, the show about a team, they love the scandal. as many of them know, a show about a team of competent professionals in our nation's capitol. it's-- fiction. i guess obviously we're
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going to be begin tonight as we have begun for the past three nights. with our continuing coverage of-- shutdown 2013! >> jon: all right, in the past few days you pay have developed an impression that nothing works any more, not only the government shutdown but the health care exchanges that its health care was supposed to be prevent are almost, well, shutdown. but i'm pleased to report there is one organization currently working at peak efficiency, located in a small hamlet and that place is known as bull [bleep] mountain. see, over on bull [bleep] mountain they-- oh. i didn't realize that had come up. over on bull [bleep] mountain they realize that
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this shutdown ain't looking so hot for one particular political party. >> according to the media research center network evening news stories over the last two weeks have blamed the gop 21 times and blamed democrats none it. >> jon: and they're also blaming floods on water. not fire. and sunsets on the rotation of the earth, not giant feathered-- who defire-- devour the sun at night. yes, it appears during the shutdown facts are mattering. well, we can't have that. to the bull [bleep]-nator. >> we are seeing firsthand the devastating impact this liberal shutdown is having-- . >> jon: liberal shutdown, hmmmm. the feces is strong in this one. (laughter) >> jon: all right, shutdown relabeled. >> veterans had to move barricades to gain access to the world war ii memorial in our nation's capitol. >> the president, democrats insisting on close the
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memorial to the public. >> the $crats president obama, this white house have denied these vets access. they have shut down these national parks. they are doing it all deliberately to inflict maximum pain on the american people. >> jon: yeah, of course they are. could there be a higher octane fuel for fox news false outrage exploitation engine than wheel-chair bound world war ii veterans. there is-- maybe a fetus that owns a small business and that small business makes merry christmas muzzle cozies. that would be the only outrage. they will storm the barricades to make sure these maybe 100 veterans get into the memorial while forgetting if their allies assanini budget shenanigans that not only shut it in the first place but also put meals on wheels at risk, a program that serves meals to over 500,000 veterans a year. so unless that world war ii memorial is made of food-- (laughter)
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>> jon: note to self. (laughter) that eliminates the need for the separate snack bar. that's why-- (laughter) outrage from bull [bleep] mountain can almost never be taken seriously. >> government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem. >> government control hurts those struggling to achieve the american dream. >> it is long overdue for the government to get out of the way. >> make government smaller. >> the best government is the smallest government. >> get government out of our lives. get the government out of our lives. >> get government off of our backs. >> we want less government. >> if only the federal government would leave us alone. >> jon: i know! (laughter) see, you hate the government. yet you rail like banchees if any of the services and benefits you like are taken
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away. you know who you are? you're the jerk. >> i don't need this stuff. and i don't need you. i don't need anything. except this, this paddle game. the paddle game, that's all i need. and this. >> jon: i don't need any government, except these memorials, and social security, and the paddle game. (applause) >> jon: and then, in the middle of your outrage and tadness over the government shutdown, you'll always end up giving away the bull [bleep] game. >> we're really very energized today, very strong. this is about the happiest i've seen members in a long time. >> yes, there is joy on bull [bleep] mountain this day. for the government is shut and the photo ops be plentiful. and you almost have to admire how fully they can commit to their means. >> we had a spokesman there
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with benghazi and it turns out it looks as if more personnel were sent into the world war ii memorial to keep people out than the state department actually sent to benghazi. >> jon: you know, i haven't been a director for very long and i hate to criticize performances. certainly don't want to give a line reading but i'm pretty sure the news face you want to eat to convey outrage and concern isn't [bleep] eating grin. (laughter) the gratuitous and cavalier nature of that comparison truly shows how little they actually care about benghazi except as a ben-gotcha, trademark, i'm going to trademark that, yeah, nice. you know what, i can't-- i can't even stand to talk about there any more for the sake of my sanity and the sake of your sanity. let's stop talking about it and go out to a long time
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federal employee who i have seen the effects of this shutdown firsthand. let's go ask him now. thank you so much. (cheers and applause) thank you very much. thank you very much, thank you very much for joining us mr. bear, we appreciate it. >> jonny, i'm huge fan of yours, please, by the way, call me smokey. >> jon: thank you, smokey, listen, i can't help but notice that this country's most beloved fire safety spokesbear is smoking. >> well, jon, you know, i'm not really on the job right now, am i, huh? (laughter) >> and by the way you have to say i'm even wearing its stupid mom jeans they put me in, huh? >> jon: let me ask you this, smokey, has the shutdown been difficult for you? >> let me get this straight. you're asking me if it's hard to get laid off of a job i've held since 19-frickin 19-fricking-44, is that what you are asking me. >> i think that is what i am
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asking. let me ask you a question. >> jon: 6 course. >> do i [bleep] in the woods, that is the question, jon, do i? (cheers and applause) >> jon: i actually, i -- >> actually jon let me stop, i actually have a win bag owe. but spoiler alert, most bears do [bleep] in the woods. the point is, jon, i'm very up set right now, very up set. >> jon: i understand, but listen are you still a healthy bear way long res machlt you ought to be able to find a temporary job pretty easily, i would think. >> yeah, believe it or not i have been looking on craigslist a little bit. they got a lot of guys on there looking for bears. >> jon: iace, i don't-- i don't-- and i'm not-- i'm not sure that that is the job that you are -- >> what? what do you mean? it says looking for bears, what else could that mean? i mean is there any other way to interpret looking for bears?
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>> jon: there is a subculture of men out there --. >> listen, listen, it's the easiest money i've ever made in my life. >> jon: all right, i understand. i don't-- you know what, i don't need the details, it's fine. >> listen, jon, look, what i am saying this in case anyone is unclear, i smokey its bear. >> jon: gentlemen. >> beloved american icon have been giving head for money. (cheers and applause) >> jon: listen,. >> this has been real fun, hi a blast. >> jon: take care, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, come back here, you just threw a lit cigarette-- you, smokey the bear are going to throw a lit cigarette on the ground. >> oh, you want me to go put that out. how about this, [bleep] you, pay me, jon, all right? >> jon: smokey its bear, ody,ybody,
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>> jon: welt come back-- welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, last week one brave republican stood up to the radical wing of his party, took the courageous, unprecedentsed move of not voting to eradicate the government
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because he doesn't like obamacare. our own samantha bee sat down with renegade representative. >> meet representative scott rigil, traiter. >> well, i voted no, turned out that i was the only republican. i didn't know that at the time. when i learned that, i called my chief of staff and i said to chris, brace yourself. >> that's probably because his republican colleagues had already figured out that he hates america. >> it wasn't an easy vote to cast because i really believe the unaffordable care act, and that is how i see it, is really not good for our country, but i voted no on that bill because something else superseded it and trumped it, and that is my desire to get us back to regular order and to not hurt our economy and our troops. >> okay, are you just experimenting with reason to see if you like it? is this like a reason run through for you? >> it was important to me to represent sane budgeting in washington. >> what are you?
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who would believe someone in congress was putting the bigger picture ahead of politics. what a freak show. don't you understand what you have done here? you have essentially voted with the democrats. these people are your sworn enemies. >> no, i like to thoughtfully engage my democratic friends in debate. >> maybe you don't have the stomach for a fight, are awe afraid, are you afraid of -- >> sutley not. i am a strong advocate for the values and the plans that i believe in. i reject that. my track record, the way to do this, the way to do this is not what a person says, it's what he or she does, reflected in their vote. you can look at my vote and see that i'm among the most conservative members of congress. see, you're doing just what is wrong with washington. >> those were chicken noises that you were hearing. >> that is what happens up
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here, people caricature people. >> it all called into question what he was even fit to serve with the stewarts of this hallowed institution. >> don't you have any fun filibusters. maybe you just don't understand how the founding fathers wanted this process to work? >> well, i know how they wanted it to work. the founding father, i believe, would certainly think about what is best for the country and advance that proposition -- >> no, no, no. didn't get in a single talking point or criticize the democrats at all. i think what you meant to say was obamacare is like flavouring and or rape and fascism. >> oh, that's horrible, no. >> are you so bad at this. you have so much work to do. >> perhaps he just needed to witness the awesome power of the tantrum. try this. >> i'm going to hold my breath and i'm going to make you do what i say. >> ma'am this is-- sam this is not good. see this is not good. this is like both parties in
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this death grip. i need to you breath, sam, no, not good. you need to breathe. come on now. okay? come on now. look, this is extraordinary. i'm impressed. wow. sam? sam? sam? >> see, that totally worked. got your attention. >> we need to get to you a doctor. >> oh, boy. >> your head is bleeding. >> i need an orange juice. lesson learned, always stick to your position no matter how many brain cells have to di in the process. (cheers and applause) >> jon: samant we'l, we'l
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back, our guest tonight, the star of abc's scandal, now in its third season please welcome teri washington. (cheers and applause) thank you so much for being here. >> it's so good to be here. i'm such a fan of this show. >> jon: we're delighted. your family is so lovely, it was truly, i met your dog. >> i live in new york, i have been here for day, my parents don't meet me anywhere to do anything, they only come here for you. >> jon: oh. >> they were like you are
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here, that's nice. where's jon. >> jon: you have my permission. you may leave them here. >> they better behave. >> jon: not a problem at all. it is so nice to see you. this show, the word juicy comes to mind. there is more that happens on this show in a week. you know shonda whims very well. >> i do. >> jon: she is such a wonderful writer. >> yeah. >> jon: what are the trrnl things going on in her brain. i always want to call her up and say are you ago, october-- okay shonda. >> i keep asking the writers what drugs they are doing in the writers room, and do they want to share, and don't stop. because the writing is so good. it's crazy. we think you are kidding me. and they're to the backing down in the third season. i kind of thought we'll slow down now a little bit. no. >> jon: there's people -- >> some people have died some people late each other, then love each other and then they die again. it's crazy. >> jon: it's crazy.
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>> they get put in holes, then they kill people. >> jon: and then they have sex again. >> yes. it's actually a really fun show now that i think about it in that framework. >> jon: it's really fun. it's fun to watch. but do you-- do people from washington. >> yeah. >> jon: ever call you and say you don't know the half of it. is there ever any sense that they feel like yeah, you know what we call that episode, a tuesday. >> it's when we, the cast, tony goldman who plays the president on the show, he and shonda and i all went to the white house correspondent din they are past spring and people are like, we love the show. we feel the show, the show is us. and i thought that's not good. it's awesome that you are watching because you watch means i have a job. i don't like that you identify so much. >> jon: . >> not the white house though, not the white house, the other people. >> jon: so the other people
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they seem buttoned up in a way -- >> there's no scandal there. >> jon: they have no fun. >> no, they have fun but it's-- . >> jon: did clinton ever come over and be like, i like that show. is he like-- is he just -- >> send me a dvd. >> he likes the show, yeah. >> jon: i could see that. >> listen, we have people both sides of the aisle came up to me loving the show. former interns at the white house were like who told you that. >> jon: wow. >> uh-huh not this administration, again. >> jon: do many of them think like that's about me or do they pull you over and say i know what that is, they try to name the people that are -- >> they do. >> jon: that these are based on. >> yeah. >> jon: . >> jon: because these are-- she is the inspiration. >> i'm to say she's the inspiration, the character is not based on her because judy did work in the first bush white house and she never had an affair with the first george bush. >> jon: yes. >> that did not happen but
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the-- the work life of-- but the work life of the character is very much based on her work. and she doesn't share details am like she's represented everybody from monica lewinsky to michael vick this is what she does. she manages crisis. so she doesn't tell us things about her clients. but the writers will come up with crazy ideas and then they say how would you fix it. and then she comes in and helps them figure out. >> jon: let's say a vice president, i don't know, kills a guy for having sex with somebody he knows, has that ever happened, where she has to sit there, like blink twice, does that shall did --. >> well, i-- . >> jon: here is how i would hypothetically fix that. >> totally, i do a conference call with her for every episode because i want to bring as much reality to the show as possible. i say hey, where you are. and she's like i can't tell you. >> jon: super-- supersecret. >> that means you are in colombia, i know you are, she is like i condition answer that question. >> jon: is it always colombia? >> no.
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>> jon: it's not always colombia. >> sometimes it's its middle east, sometimes it's ohio, yeah. ohio is-- . >> jon: is there anything you want to give away for this year's, any like a little bit of a teaser or a spoiler, perhaps, or maybe the whole plot, is there anything that you want to tell us in particular. is there anything juicy that you are really loving right now? >> i am loving that for the first time we're really getting a look into my character's back story. and history into how she became olivia pope. and i used to think like wow, she is a really toremented person. and now with all that i know about her past i think this woman should be like a drug addict in person. how is she so powerful and successful. >> jon: direct addict in prison, season four. >> spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. >> jon: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> jon: it is a delight. thanks for bringing your family. scandal, thursday night
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>> jon: that is our show, join us next week, i wanted to take a brief moment at the top here to thank you guys at home. a couple days ago we had on an author david mitchell who had translated this book by a japanese boy, 13-year-old boy who has an autistic syndrome. and i wrote a book called the reason i jump which is the most incredible book i have read in ages. and we talked about it. and how what a gate book its with and how wonderful it was. and you guys responded like crazy. you drove this bad boy to number one on amazon, so for doing that, keep on doing,
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keep on reading, spread the word. it's a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful book. here it is, your moment of zen. >> we are going to let these, this world war ii vet used as political pawns that is why we showed up. >> we're trying to protect captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh


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